If Noah weren’t dead, I’d kill him. Now that the title of the post makes more sense, I shall endeavour to explain.
You see, apparently God commanded Noah to take two of every kind of animal aboard the ark. Except that apparently Noah was more selective than God anticipated. Unicorns? Nope. Dragons? Nope. Lions, tigers, and bears? You betcha. Trilobytes and dinosaurs? Nope. Chiggers, fleas, and ticks? OH HECK YEAH WE BETTER BRING THOSE!
Seriously, Noah, WTH?
When I die, I am SO putting you in the hurt locker for this. Then I am quietly resuming my renovations to Hell.