Rainy days and holidays, work and avoidance

DSCN0747The end of the term has arrived, and with it, some self-made promises to do better next year.  The emotional hell of these last couple of weeks isn’t worth going through again.  I’m a master procrastinator; I think I should have a degree in that.  Discussion with some coworkers implies that procrastination may be a requirement for an advanced degree anyway.

So what did I do this weekend?  I slept.  Blissful sleep.  Simple, and very, very needed.  I avoided doing actual work most of the weekend.  I got last week’s laundry ironed and hung up (since it spent the week rumpled up in the hamper), so now I have presentable clothing to wear for the week.

What I’m worried about is when our Christmas party is (at work).  I need to cook and take a gift, and though neither should take too long, I really don’t feel like doing anything else tonight.  It’s a rainy, dreary evening out.  Dinner was bright and cheery burritos (well, ok, oversized tacos in flour tortillas? whatever) and sangria blanca, which turned out quite yummable thanks to a Williams-Sonoma mix and some added fruit (lime, pineapple, nectarine,  and orange).  I had found the mix on sale near its’ expiration date.  🙂

Mood-wise, I’m still not stable, or good, or Christmassy, but I should be in a few more days.  I just need a couple of days with NO demands on my time from friends, family, coworkers, or students.  Yeah, like that’s going to happen!  HAH.  Suuure.  Which brings me to my other recent thoughts.  Friday, when I was driving into work, I was thinking about how much I hate Christmas.  I don’t think anyone really understands just how much I dislike this particular holiday or why.  And I realized that a lot of my negative associations were really mostly very old associations; ones from over 12 years ago.  Maybe it’s time to let those go.  Ya think?  Maybe it’s time to make my own memories and traditions.   I don’t guarantee I’ll ever love the season.  There’s too much hustle and bustle and crowds, and people seem to lose any sense of sanity at this time of year.  Traffic is horrendous, and God forbid you should try to go to the grocery store, or the pharmacy, and Wal-Mart?  Not a chance.  If you don’t have hours to spare, don’t go in.  Really quite simple.  Having to park at a mall daily for work is not improving my perception of the holiday insanity either.  Nor does the decorating for Christmas before Halloween.  Okay, okay.  Enough gritching.  Maybe I’ll learn to cope with it and like it.  Maybe I won’t.  But I will try to quit hating it for old reasons.

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