Feeling low

Ever have one of those days where you just feel like a failure? Like nothing you do will ever make a difference? Like you’re doomed to a life of poverty and mediocrity and nonacceptance?
Yeah. I’m having pity-party, guest list 3 (me, myself, & woe-is-me). Now, where’s the little fiddle emoticon?

I don’t know quite why I feel so low today. I was glancing through a Pottery Barn catalog, and realizing that I rather seriously doubt I will ever be able to afford to have such things of my own. I feel like I’ve backed myself into a life corner and the roads out are blocked. It was a corner I ran to pretty willingly, but I’m starting to perceive the mildew and cobwebs…

I think I”m glad my resolution this year wasn’t gratitude. Life isn’t easy. I know this; I’ve learned it the hard way. In all honesty, the hard way is the only way my hard-headed self will ever really learn anything, and there are apparently some lessons that need reinforcement.  It will be a difficult year, I hope a good one, and I hope to learn new things about myself, life, and managing my life.  I would like to end 2010 in better shape than I’m starting it.

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