I should probably revise that page title. I’m not interested in haute-couture, runway fashion. Therefore, clothing is a more appropriate descriptor.
Here’s the thing: I’m sick of most of my clothes. Some I’ve had since high school. Okay, so I may never get rid of that sweater; it’s soft and comfy and still looks good. I’ve never really thought of myself as a jeans-and-T-shirt kind of girl. If I had to define my favourite look, it would be dark jeans and a white oxford shirt. I don’t know why, I just love the way that looks. So there’s my “style.” I can’t wear jeans to work, though. They’re immensely more practical in a laboratory with bleach, and nasty acids, but that’s not something my current boss takes into account. I have two clothing options: business-wear (we do have a lot of flex), or scrubs. I loathe scrubs beyond all definition. And they’re not warm enough.
I’m starting to understand that I’ve matured; I’m grown-up. That’s silly to have to say, but I’m actually not a teenager anymore; I’m not a college student or grad student. It’s time I dressed more my age. The next big problem is that there’s little out there for “my age.” Too old for miniskirts, too young for frumpy muu-muus, where do 30-somethings fall? Talk about tween angst! I feel like I am between two worlds. I’ve looked at some stores that are supposed to be for adult women (not 20’s): Ann Taylor/LOFT/Chico’s; JC Penny, and others. Even my old standby of NY&Co doesn’t fit “me” anymore (and I’m not exactly meaning physically). Most don’t fit my sense of who I am. It doesn’t help that most of the models look like 20-somethings. I don’t have wrinkles yet, or even fine lines, really. I do have some “character” lines in my forehead and the beginnings of some fine crinkles under my eyes. All totally normal for my age. I have some grey hair, and I’m okay with that: I’ve earned them!!!
I’m finding I like the way my face has matured. I think my body will come to match. Now how do I dress that body?
I’ve watched TLC’s What Not to Wear and I love the show. I don’t have a $5000 shopping spree in NYC at my disposal, and I don’t dress badly enough that I’m likely to end up on the show. Although I would let Nick Arrojo do ANYTHING he wanted to my hair. Period. The man’s a genius. I want to be more feminine. I want to quit HIDING behind my clothing, something I’ve been doing since I was about 14. My wardrobe has consisted of neutrals (with the occasional red, green, navy) for 20 years. I am SICK of it. Who am I? I have earned a Ph.D. I have more skills in more diverse areas than many people. I can do a lot of things. I won’t be at this current job forever; in fact, I don’t want to be there past the 2 year mark (or much past it).
Back to the point of this post, though. I have been seeing an ad on our cable stations for a couple of weeks. It caught my attention the first time I saw it and I’m still hooked by it.
This is ME. This ad resonated with me so strongly I can’t describe it. This is what I want to look like, what I want to FEEL like, through and through. I know that the colour palette is still pretty black-white-grey-red, but the STYLE of the clothing, and the ATTITUDE of the clothing, is what grabbed me. And it’s not letting go. On the rest of the company’s site, they show 3 makeovers of women aged 34-37. That’s MY age group. That’s ME. That’s… I think I’ve covered it.
At the same time I’m feeling completely obsessed by these clothes, I understand that I’ve promised myself no new clothing until I’ve reached my goal weight. Most of my wardrobe is in okay condition–it can make it a few months yet. And that stuff is expensive (by my standards). I hope it’s better made than my current stock. If I’ve learned one other thing from What Not to Wear, it’s that I need a good foundation, too. Meaning undergarments. So, I need to start from the inside out–and that part of my wardrobe is probably in the worst condition.
Hey, at least I already have rockin’ shoes!
Out of this frustration and my reaction to this ad and this year’s resolutions came a realisation. 2012 is shaping up to be a year of transformation for me. It’s scary. Possibly terrifying. I have no idea where I will be at the end of this year relative to where I began it, but stick with me and find out!